What Is Heroin Anyway?

Today we are just days away until the end of the April Blogging Challenge. Today is the letter W and I'd like to talk about the problem in my town as well as all over the country, heroin. What is heroin anyway? 

I get asked that question a lot. Of course, when I typed it in search it brought up the trusty Wikipedia definition of it, Heroin. Then, of course, there are the bands and songs named after it.

When I Googled that question it came up with, heroin is a highly addictive analgesic drug derived from morphine often used illicitly as a narcotic producing euphoria.

To put it in words everyone can understand, heroin is a highly addictive and illegal drug. Many

Speak The Truth (Worth The Repeat)

I have noticed lately that a lot of videos and other info is being removed that deal with heroin and heroin and opioid addiction. I have set wondering why?

Is it because most of this information is real and direct and speaks the truth.

It's name is Heroin.

Heroin does not discriminate. It will take all even those who haven't gotten here yet!

When this disease affects someone we love we still love the person they are inside but we hate Heroin and the trail of disaster it leaves behind.

Not speaking about it and speaking the truth and the harsh realities of this drug is why we are still in this epidemic and in many communities still facing it with the harsh realities because heroin will kill you or someone you love.

It isn't the only reason, but it is one of the reasons.

Not speaking about is why so many who are faced with it is still stuck in the stigma- alone and ashamed and afraid to talk about what it has personally done to them.

Doing nothing and turning a back to the problem hasn't been the answer either. For years our community leaders knew about this problem and they did nothing. Many of them fed into the stigma which is why a mention of any kind of treatment in this town will bring out the NIMBY crowd in protest.

This addiction isn't something we can "hide away." We cannot continue the trend of shaming by sending the addicts hundreds of miles away to be treated.

I do and will continue to speak the truth about heroin and this addiction. I guess that is why

some in the groups and others who are in positions no longer want to talk to me or will take a phone call. 

I take it the forces that took over the Internet last week do not want anyone to see reality of what happens when you are addicted to heroin and overdose because the video was removed. What a shame!!!!

What a shame that we live in a generation of emotionally weak people. Does heroin care? Nope.
Heroin has probably affected you or someone you care about. Many don't know about it yet others are still hidden in the stigma this drug and addiction places on people.

Why does it feel as if everything has to be watered down because so many find so much to be offended about, including the truth and those of us who speak it?

© 2016 Gossip Girl

I Hate Heroin

pic from: Heroin Support

The Truth About It

About a week ago I shared a video that was floating around Facebook for days about the teenagers finding their parents overdosed. Personally for me I felt (and others who shared it) felt that was the reality videos that need shared and watched.

Stop using pictures of cigarettes and coffee in the classrooms and speak the truth about heroin and heroin and opioid addiction.

Our young people aren't losing their lives while smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee at the local coffee shop.

Dealers won't give your kiddies cups of coffee. They will hand your child a little baggie of pure evil.

Say it's name! It's name is heroin. It will rob, steal and in the end it will take the life of someone you love and care about.

If you've never met Satan, just wait until someone you love gets addicted to heroin!

Anyway...

Today I noticed the video is gone and the account of the person associated with the video terminated. Boy they really don't want the general public to see the real everyday life of someone addicted to heroin, or the real face of heroin and what it has done to hundreds of thousands of families each and every day.

In my opinion, everyone needs to see videos just like that. It is the reality for many of us who live it everyday. Why does it seem like there are those who want to hide it away?

Would you rather see a video of reality so that you can know the symptoms or a Disney made movie about it?

Folks, Disney doesn't perform at funerals!!!!

OR maybe this is the last picture you want to see of someone you love when heroin addiction has run its course and taken someone you love so dear.

pic from: legacyfreedom

© 2016 Gossip Girl

Love The Addict Not The Addiction: Unconditional Love

This was shared today on Facebook. If you love someone who is using and abusing this drug you know the shame and stigma that others place on your family.

We've been there before. Very early it is denial until you just cannot deny it anymore. Then you move onto other things trying to control the addiction. Hoping you can fix your loved one who is so broken by this addiction.

It is a terrible and lonely place to be.

I do not expect my family or friends to know exactly what it feels like to love someone so broken in this addiction that they cannot see there is a light.

We know the shame that we go through. We've heard the terrible things, the name calling and mainly from those who say they love us.

This is my family. We suffer right along with our son as we watch him struggle and we are powerless.

I will no longer allow anyone that much power over me again.

If you say you love us and you don't- I will not care.

If you say you care about us and you don't- I will not care.

We are already powerless over heroin and this addiction and what it has done to our son. I just cannot allow those who do not understand the power to make me feel so broken inside anymore.

pic from: Someone's Child

Words Written: © 2016 Gossip Girl

Forget Making Assumptions

Just in the past twenty four hours I have learned so much. I have often forgotten to take a moment of disconnect, rethink it take a moment and breathe. This post is not about making excuses for our sons behavior and his addiction. It is however about putting the pieces of the puzzle together, to understand it better and possibly make treating his addiction a little easier to understand. You see...

Our son Kyle did really good maintaining his sobriety for several years. Because we didn't know what truly happened we started interjecting our own feelings into it and concluded that it had to be his old friends.

About three years ago he relapsed. For a year we have been racking our minds trying to figure out, what happened?

After some recent events with our son and in talking to someone close to him we have learned a few things that in doubt led to this spiraling out of control so fast-so easy.

About three years ago Kyle was working a stable job. He tells me about others on his job that were using pills around him and that he had been so strong in declining any offers. He hurt his back one day on the job. A guy on the job offered him a Perc. At first he declined it, but as the day went on his back was hurting even more and he took the pill.

He said he knew just swallowing it would not have that immediate affect he needed, so he smoked it. Kyle said there was immediate battle going on his head. He felt so guilty for doing it, but it relieved the back pain.

He said this one time use set off a trigger in his brain. He told no one- not the girlfriend- not us- no one. For approximately six months he became what is known as a functioning addict. Then came the layoff. Not enough work to go around and he and his crew were laid off. This would be the event that set in motion the decline and his sobriety spiraling out of control.

He was looking for work, but as we all know having a criminal record doesn't make it easy finding a job. With his back still hurting he found it easy to keep himself self medicated on the streets. He could find what he needed anywhere.

He started lying that he was out looking for work. He said he was embarrassed to tell his then girl friend that he couldn't find anything because of his record. He became too overwhelmed with the pressure that he needed to find a job to help with the household expenses.

He had denied to himself and those around him that he had a problem. That would mean admitting he had slipped.

When he finally admitted what he had been doing-self medicating- it was pretty much too late. He had been using heroin for many months at that time.

His then girl friend would take him to the hospital because at times the pain became so bad he went into seizures.

One look at track marks and it is like "GAME OVER" at the hospital. They did not believe he was in pain and he often was told take Tylenol and sleep it off.

He never in the past years stopped complaining about lower back and abdomen pain. Sometimes the pain was so severe he couldn't walk. Other times the pain so severe he went into seizures.

Last year when he was going to the Martinsburg Institute we know that his medical records were faxed there and was told that he had some really severe medical problems going on. One being his kidneys.


>>>>>>TO BE CONTINUED

© 2016 Gossip Girl

Who Wants To Live Forever?

I will always be a fan of Queen. Whenever I hear this song it reminds me so much of my son addicted to heroin and that thinking he has of invincibility because of this drug and use and abuse of it! Of course if he were here beside of me he would snicker at me or laugh for saying this.

If you have a problem with heroin or any other drug, please seek help and treatment today.

It is a matter of life and death!

Song from Queen/YouTube

The Signs of a Heroin Overdose

Do you know the signs of an overdose? Do you know what to do?
Call 9-1-1 Immediately!
If you don't carry Narcan/Naloxone call 9-1-1 immediately. You can also try to help the person by starting some rescue breathing techniques while waiting for the ambulance.
One technique is to turn the person on their left side in the recovery position. Push in on the side of their chest over their lungs to push air into their lungs.
If you are comfortable doing CPR on the person, if there is no pulse by all means start CPR. If you get a pulse, turn them on their side in the recovery position and proceed with the rescue breathing technique until help arrives.
Keep them in the recovery position. The person will likely throw up. The recovery position is to prevent aspiration.

More Information on the Recovery Position

Heroin Overdose App for phone

Is It Any Wonder There Are Stigmas?

Is it any wonder that a stigma exists between society and those who are caught up in the addiction as well as those people who love someone using and abusing heroin when entities within the Federal Government cannot even stand on the same side?

As a blogger, I type many keywords into search engines seeking information and resources on heroin. We have a son who uses and abuses not only heroin but others as well.

I cannot remember now exactly what words I used to type into the BING search engine to come up with an interesting FACT CHECK on the heroin epidemic written by the website, Fusion.

By interesting I mean this,

The word fentanyl has now become a household word and the nightmare of every parent or person who loves someone addicted to heroin as well as among the groups who advocate. We used to only hear that word as it was associated with many stars in Hollywood who died from a heroin overdose now it is among us on our streets and it is killing people right here in Martinsburg, West Virginia.

The DEA calls it a heroin epidemic however in 2014 the CDC disagreed and said "NO" The CDC does not consider this an epidemic.

“We do not consider heroin usage as an epidemic,” said spokesperson Courtney Lenard. “Deaths rates from heroin overdose in the US were relatively stable from 1999 through 2010. We did not see the sharp increase that we would characterize as an epidemic.”

Now, all the other entities (the CDC and SAMSHA) all agree there is an opioid epidemic in this country but it's not heroin.

Now we who love someone addicted know that once our loved one is addicted it is often not just heroin. Our son was addicted to heroin first. Now it's a combo of heroin/opiates. Sometimes just opiates.

Other opioids and benzos come into action. Those addicted will combine other drugs with heroin just searching for the next bigger high. Heck, I just learned that our son is combining heroin, opioids and smoking them with Spice.

Is there any wonder that there is such as stigma around addiction and whether or not it is a disease? As well as the stigma society places on families and friends of those who use and abuse. We who love them come to that place when we have to call it was it is, a heroin addiction.

Why wouldn't these government entities call it for what it is?

Personally, I feel this way,  If they were to all come to together and agree, it would show a great failure on their part because from the late 1990's and through the 2000's heroin use has gradually risen year after year. We have the numbers of the overdoses and the deaths to prove it so how can they say there has been no increase? No epidemic?

Of course, this is just my opinion.

To read the rest of this interesting article...

Fact Check: Is There Really A Heroin Epidemic?

© 2016 Gossip Girl

It Seems To Fall On Deaf Ears

On May 12th I stood in front of the Mayor of Martinsburg and the City Council (those few that attended the meeting) and read our petition to them. I also told them on that day that this reaches into our schools here. In light of the recent OD's and the two deaths of the young Spring Mills High School Graduates and students I wonder if my words fell on deaf ears that day? Did they not believe me that this has already reached into the school system here in Martinsburg and Berkeley County?

I have no clue what more it is going to take for our leaders to wisen up to this problem here. How many more will need to die while our leaders set idly by?

It is really amazing the struggle in getting people just to sign the

If We Do Nothing...

About a month ago I held a Community Awakening, Memorial and Vigil to bring attention to our growing heroin epidemic here in Berkley County, West Virginia.

This event was to bring us all together in one place. That place is the site of the proposed treatment center here in Martinsburg, West Virginia.

About fifty people attended from various groups here in the county. All of us coming together as one. The goal I had in mind then is still the goal I have in mind today. We have to make them see in such a way that they cannot deny this problem any longer. This will not go away on it's own.

Although a month ago I still remember the words of Mr. James Boyd that day when he said,

"If we do nothing this will hit those who haven't even made it here yet."

Boy was he right. Yesterday I learned that three young people from our county who just graduated from high school six days ago are dead from an overdose. There was a graduation party this past weekend and from the stories I am hearing about it they apparently bought what they thought was cocaine. It was either pure heroin or it was cocaine laced with heroin I'm not sure which since our county officials- Sheriffs Department- has not come forward to the news paper with this story.

I am saddened, but I am not shocked or surprised.

I am saddened that another family is going through this; yet I'm not shocked or surprised that this has happened.

For Parents of Young Kids and Teens: Know The Signs

Let's face it. The signs of abuse and addiction are there. Even if you know the signs and see the signs, what then? What do you do? Read the rest @

Know The Signs

Back In History: It Just Had To Be The Pot

It couldn't have been all the LSD and Acid!

This is a continuing discussion about Berkeley County's out of control drug problem. Weeks ago I posted one of several I have written on the subject of, Should Pot Be Legal?

I was born and raised here in Martinsburg. My parents took me to church every Sunday and also talked about why we should never use drugs. Maybe that should say they used scare tactics back then to explain it.
As a kid I was scared to death of drugs. Back in those days the majority of kids I went to school with was raised the same way we were.
Back in those days on Sundays you were in church. Everyone knew each other here in town. At the stores or when out you ran into people

Signs of Heroin Use

Some of you may wonder just what are the signs?...

The First Step Is Admitting There Is a Problem

Our adult son is addicted to Heroin and/or Opiates. There I have said it. I have admitted it. These are the words of Mr. James Boyd who said,

We have to call it what it is. 

The first step to a problem is admitting the problem exists. It does and it is very real. The first time I denied this problem in the beginning. I refuse to this time. So I will get that out right now.

Here is where we are at this very minute with our son who is addicted to heroin. Here is what we do know as well as some of his past history with abusing heroin/opiates.

He was clean for a few years and relapsed what I now know is about one and a half to two years ago.
He's pretty good at hiding those early signs from us from his past use and abusing heroin and opiates.
We do know this time that heroin is much cheaper than street bought prescription opiates. This problem is supply and demand. We know now that if he's begging for $40 or $60 he is seeking street bought prescription opiates. If he's begging for $20 then he's likely seeking heroin.
He also doesn't live with us. It is much harder when they don't live with you or you don't see them anymore or as in our case, we have no clue where he is living or staying.

Our son is an addict
Although he will deny it. He at least hasn't gotten to that place yet where he has contacted me to say, "Mommy I need help"
We, however, do admit his problem and we do call it what it is, he is an addict and abuser of heroin/opiates
His drug of choice is heroin and often street bought prescription opiates
He uses and abuses heroin and opiates. We've been told by those who do see and talk to him that it is both
He has a history of IV drug use
He has abused heroin/opiates in all the various ways. Shooting it up by means of a needle.
He has tattoos so spotting his track marks is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
He also has snorted it and often he smokes it.
He is a liar
He told us in January that he was in a treatment facility out in Huntington, West Virginia and was home on leave for the weekend. He asked me for $20 to give to his ride to take him back. Then he asked that we take him to give the $20 to the ride. Now let me tell ya. What a fool I am. When we got back there over the mountain oh I knew immediately. I threw down the cards and called bullshit. We got into an argument over it all the way back and I saw him one other time in January. We haven't seen him since.
He is stealing and committing crimes due to his addiction and abuse of heroin and opiates
We know of at least two warrants currently out for him. We don't understand the process of the police allowing the warrants to pile up when they know where he is even though I don't.
He has prior use of heroin/opiates and is also known for crimes he committed in the past due to his heroin addiction.
He also broke into my parent's house, but only made it onto their enclosed porch. My parents came home before he had actually gotten into their home by means of climbing through their window.
We do know that he will likely detox at the ERJ.
Intervention
We know from his prior use that intervention only works on him when he is drug sick.
We don't even know where he is but we know from his past history that if he is committing crimes to support his addiction he has been drug sick.

Outward Physical Signs
I just recently saw him on a surveillance video breaking into a home. I can see from the video that he has lost a lot of weight.
On the video, we can see that he has huge dark circles around his eyes.
He hides track marks in his tattoos
His History of Abusing Heroin and Opiates and Medical Standpoint:
He gets depressed especially when he is drug sick. Due to this he has contemplated and once attempted suicide years ago.
In the past when he has tried to detox on his own he had seizures from detoxing without medical supervision.
We do believe from his prior use that he does have hepatitis. Last year when he was going to the Martinsburg Institute for methadone I asked him about it and he acted like I pulled that out of the sky.
Before he stopped going to the methadone clinic he told me that they had discovered something wrong with his kidney's. I know he has had no further follow up with a physician about that health concern.
I am I used to be the Enabler
His first time abusing heroin and opiates I was his biggest enabler. I too learned a lot of lessons that first time. This time I refused to be caught up in that tangled web. His last time the minute I stopped enabling him he started stealing from us (and others). I went through a savings account and depleted a CD account back then before I even realized I was pulled into this as the enabler.
This time there is absolutely nothing to enable him with. I am currently laid off from my job and we had to purchase a new vehicle and now have a car payment on top of our own household needs.  I refuse to be destitute over his addiction. I do know that this time we know he has taken items from us- you know- their real subtle about that. It's often several months before you even realize something is missing.
Things We Do Know:
He is thirty-one years old and has had a problem with addiction for the last eleven years.
He hasn't lived with us in our home since 2004. At this time we do not even know where he is staying or where he is at.
He hasn't worked since he was laid off from his job two years ago although for a time he was doing some side work.
His girlfriend of several years broke up with him due to his abusing heroin and because of the lying and the stealing.
We learned recently that he has had a secret type of relationship with his ex-wife who is also a heroin addict and has a past of dependency on him for her own drug needs.
When we have confronted him about his addiction he has a history of becoming aggressive, but only with us- his parents. He has pushed and shoved me, called me all sorts of names, told a police officer once that I was the drug user and used drugs his entire life. For some reason, he has on two occasions tried to butt heads with his dad to where they were nose to nose screaming at each other.
Other:
We know this is a desperate time in his addiction
We know that he can overdose from his using.
We know and are constantly afraid he will get ahold of something mixed with poisons which will take his life
From seeing him on a video I believe that he is having some very dire medical problems at this time associated with his addiction.
We know he could break into a home and be injured or killed
Now, you would think that since he has a prior use of heroin/opiates that we would be pros at this. Oh No!!! We aren't which is why I often reach out to others.
We know the first time we made some mistakes in keeping track of his recovery as well as making sure he had outside support to help ensure his continued recovery.
Our first rodeo with this was way different. We were alone. We did not know what to do because we never had to face something like this before. We didn't and still don't know what it is we need to do in these some of the most critical of times.
The stigma of loving someone addicted to heroin/opiates is enough to make someone want to hide.
Our first time dealing with this when we tried reaching out to officials we were told more than once that our son was a piece of trash. That alone was enough to make us want to hide in a cave.
As already mentioned we know that our son will likely detox in jail. Although his first time they had a history of releasing him on a PR type bond. As sad as it sounds, it doesn't help when they do that. It allows for more crimes as well as puts his life in more danger.
I have some postings about that so will not repeat.

And...this is why I am writing all of this... because maybe someone will find this blog and be right here at this very minute and hopefully I can help or have some answers to help someone else

Where do we go from here? Really this is the end of the road for us. The rest is up to our son. He has to admit that he has a problem and has to want to reach out himself.

© 2016 Gossip Girl

Medicine In This Country: Some Fun Facts About Medicine

Medicine has advanced in this country over the years. If we were to become the great country we are today, yes our medicine had to.

In the early years before doctors had use of many medicines, they did a procedure known as bloodletting, which was a common procedure back then of cutting into the body to remove what was thought

The Addiction and Recovery Rollercoaster

Heroin Addiction: Is It Bad Choices OR Is It A Disease?

Having a loved one addicted to heroin I too used to be one who thought that this was just a matter of poor choices.

We raised our kids to know that drugs were bad. We talked about drugs in our home.

I've learned that you can talk to your kids and do the right things and yet that doesn't necessarily mean that your child won't use drugs.

Honestly, it's hard for me to understand too. Maybe it is because I have never had my loved one set down and tell me, this is why I started using. Like, I have questions one of which is what led you to that place in your life?
I also know that many start using drugs for experimentation, to fit in, peer pressure, escape or relax, self esteem issues and yes even to rebel.

I have a type of brain that assumes everything is a piece of a puzzle and often works overtime trying to understand the puzzle and put it together until it does make sense.

Everyone just automatically assumes that the drug user comes from a bad family, a poor family, the person isn't educated, lacks self control and willpower, and that they can stop if they want to. That is wrong.

As the parent of a child addicted to heroin I know that opiates/heroin changes and chemically alters the brain. It's much easier telling people that your child or loved one is sick in the head right now then to say, my child or loved one is addicted to heroin. Honestly, they are sick in the head. They have chemically damaged their brain.

Years ago I had someone explain heroin addiction very simply to me in easy to understand language not that scientific stuff that we feel we need to get a degree for.

They told me to pretend my brain was a child. The child eats a piece of candy and the candy makes them feel a certain way (this is the high they feel from the drug). So let's say the child starts rewarding themselves with the candy because the child likes the way the candy makes them feel. Over time the child is getting the candy that continues to make them feel good. The child soon learns that the candy is the reward. The candy teaches the child that it needs this reward. The child has stopped making any critical judgment, decision making, learning and has no memory or behavior control because all the child knows now is that it needs that candy for the reward.

Then one day for some reason the child cannot get the candy. The child's body starts to become sick with the need for the candy. The only thing the child knows is that it needs to get that candy. It needs that reward. Due to the child not being able to make good decisions and from lack of self control, the child will do anything to get that candy. The child has forgotten that they can die because all the child knows now is that it needs that candy.

The brain is a very complex organ in our body and alters and changes to the needs of the candy. It soon learns that it cannot function without the reward of candy.

That is the disease of addiction.

Now we as the loved one of someone addicted to drugs we soon believe the lies of. Hey, I need $20 for gas. I need gas and cigarettes. They will even tell you they are job searching if you question. Soon it's a daily occurrence from $20 to $60 and before we know it, there is no more money left to give. We then find we are tangled up in this web of abuse by becoming- The Enabler.

The real demons of addiction can manifest because often when there isn't any more money that is when they will steal to feed the addiction. The brain has shut down that part that tells them about judgement and decision making and often then is when the user will steal everything they can to get their fix.

They often take small things of value; irreplaceable items that one day you are looking for something and it is gone. They didn't take it five minutes ago. Often it was taken five months ago. We as parents only want our loved one to get better so we don't call the police.

When using heroin/opiates your child lacks empathy or sympathy to even understand what he or she is putting their loved ones through dealing with this. That is because it cuts off a certain part of the brain that deals with these issues.

As the parent or loved one of a user I know that you devote so much time into wanting your loved one to get well and free of this addiction that it can make you ache and hurt in places in your body that you didn't realize there was even a muscle there.

If you have a child who is asking for money every single day of the week, you need to really start to ask questions. There is a reason why your child is needing money everyday. Of course, you're going to hear all the excuses and the lies. Many of us have been there and done that. Use that one instinct that is telling you, something isn't right here. Become the detective. Trust me when dealing with a child on drugs and playing detective- I feel I should have a certificate in Detective Work by now.

Now back to the question is heroin/drug addiction a bad choice or a disease?
Well from the information we have now on how heroin/opiates and other drugs alter the brain so that often the user becomes mentally unstable we now know this is the disease of addiction. Their brain doesn't function like it used to and they can no longer make proper decisions or choices. They have no area in the brain telling them about judgement. That is the disease of addiction.

I'm hoping that others have something to offer here. If you do leave a comment...

© 2016 Gossip Girl