Challenge Myself: Day #64 Communicating

Today is Day #64 of our NarAnon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today- the next time you don't see eye to eye on a subject, write your significant other a succinct message clarifying your point of view.

The book says,

The next time your spouse tunes a deaf ear to your point of view, try a new strategy. Write him/her a succinctly worded note. Resist the urge to name calling to point out a stubborn streak, or threaten.

Instead, create a lens for him/her to see your position on the subject.

Argue your point without finding fault with him/her as a person. Show respect for the others point of view, but reveal why you've arrived at the opposite conclusion. He or she is not the enemy.

Tackle the problem, not the person, and you may find that the other isn't all that attached to their point of view after all.

Apply the same strategy to talking with the other person and you may find they are listening.

Our boys were all three teens at the same time. I know when they were all home they used to do little things that made me a little mad for instance shaving. They would leave those little hairs all over the place in the bathroom. In the sink, around the sink and on the floor. Tired of cleaning up after them I started leaving post it notes on the bathroom mirror asking they clean up the shaving mess.

Another note I left a lot was one above the kitchen sink that read, "If you are standing here and there are dirty dishes in the sink, please wash them."

When the kids were home we had a rule that nothing was too big to talk to us about. The same applied to us, the grown ups in the home. The hubby and I have always talked. Now, many years ago we worked opposite shifts at work and it was hard. I often left notes for the hubby of Things To Do. We always make time to talk.

Just For Today: Keeping the lines of communication open with my family.

I found a couple websites:

How To: Communicate With Children
Effective Communication With Your Spouse

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #56 Effective Listening

Today is Day #56 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about listening when others are speaking.

The book says,

The art of actively listening means to be totally engaged when someone is talking to you. When you truly make an effort to understand others, they appreciate it. Consequently, your relationships with them are strengthened.

Make sure you truly understand what your friend tells you by repeating his words back to him or her. 

You could start with, "I want to make sure I understand what you're telling me."

Express your understanding of what he or she is saying and if it isn't right, the person will correct you. Listen without judging. Be fully present. Pay attention.

Your relationships will be stronger and happier as a result of your effort.

Just For Today: I will listen.

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #52 Something Simple Counts

Today is Day #52 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today reminded me that just the little things count even if it is breakfast in bed.

The book says,

Challenge Myself: Day #51 Couple Talk

Today is Day #51 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about "the talk".

The book says,

Challenge Myself: Day #50 Intimacy and Relationships

Today is Day #50 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about intimacy in our relationship.

I for one know that when you have a child who is sick with this addiction it is often hard to make couple time.

It's not that we don't want to, it's that we get so consumed by the whole wanting to control it, wanting to fix it that we sometimes forget to take a couple break.

The book says,

Build A Strong Happy Relationship

I found an interesting article to go along with this section of the Live Happy Challenge on Building Happy Relationships.

Ten Ways To Build a Strong Relationship My children often say that they wish they had a perfect relationship like ours.

We are far from perfect. We are just the ordinary couple sticking together in the good times and in the bad times just like the vows we took say we are to do.

We are just the ordinary often dysfunctional family trying to hold it all together. We fight amongst us, get mad and argue but we make our way

Challenge Myself: Day #48 Find Love Again

Day #48 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about finding love again.

Today's exercise is for those single people. I know I sound like a broken record because I've said more than once during these exercises how heroin addiction has split and torn families

Challenge Myself: Day #47 A Simple Act of Love

Today is Day #47 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is to say I love you to the person you love.

The book says,

Leave love to it's own devices or take some action to evoke a response from your lover. Write a simple "I Love You" note and tuck it under your partners pillow to be found when it's time for bed or after you have left for the day.

Such a simple act will call up strong, loving feelings in him during you absence. Expect a call, possibly the delivery of some flowers, or lots of attention.

Want a double dose of happiness? Try it and see for yourself the results.

I have taped a note on the steering wheel of our vehicle for the hubby to find in the morning when he's leaving for work.

I have tucked little notes into his lunch bag. At times I've called him on his lunch break just to tell him I love him.

Just For Today: Today I will focus on the things that I am grateful for in my marriage.

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #46 Couple Retreat

Today is Day #46 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about taking time as a couple.

The book says,

Nothing thrives through neglect. That is especially true for romantic relationships. Lavish the kind of attention on your romantic partner that you desire yourself.

Make a reservation at one of the best bed and breakfast establishments in your area. Such accommodations usually offer intimate, cozy settings and comfortable bedrooms (sometimes with fireplaces and Jacuzzi tubs).

Breakfasts can range from a simple offering of freshly baked muffins with coffee and juice to an opulent gourmet feast.

Surprise your lover with a weekend getaway and watch how love blossoms.

We on this side know that loving an addict can take so much of our time and our attention and often away from our spouse.

My hubby has stood strong beside of me and for our family. We were trying to plan to go away for our 35th Anniversary but this I know will be totally impossible. We have one of our grandchildren until probably September.

Just For Today: Thinking I need Calgon to take me away!!!

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #45 Time Out With a Friend

Today is Day #45 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about taking a day out with your best friend.

The book says,

Let your best friend know how much you value the friendship. Invite them for a relaxing afternoon at the spa.

Treat your friend to their favorite relaxation treatment or hot stone massage. Imagine how great they will feel when the massage therapist places sanitized warm stones of smooth volcanic rock or basalt on their tired back, shoulders, or neck muscles.

If there's been any friction between you. a spa day can ease that as well.

So go ahead and book an appointment. Invest the time and cost of the massage in your friendship. A happy relationship with your best friend is worth every penny.

If you can't afford a spa day go get a mani-pedi!!!!

Just For Today: I will relax!!!

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day # 44 Relationship Matters

Today is Day #44 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about relationship matters.

This section of the Live Happy pertains to Building Happy Relationships. The families going through heroin and addiction with their loved ones we know many whose marriages bear the battle scars and the wounds of loving an addict.

The book says,

When you feel so emotional that you can't think straight, it may be time to seek help.

Explain to your partner that you believe the two of you could work through the tough issues if only you could talk about them without pushing each other's buttons.

One way to not do that would be to find an impartial third party, perhaps a relationship expert or a marriage and family counselor, to guide you through the emotional minefields.

Relationship experts can reveal ways to shift the relationship paradigm so you don't stay in a "stuck" place.

Working through the issues can strengthen a relationship and make the individuals feel more hopeful, optimistic, and happier.

Just For Today: I am thankful that my marriage has remained strong.


From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #43 Hello

Today is Day #43 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about just saying 'hello'.

The book says,

Pay attention to the people around you. Instead of standing next to the stranger for the elevator ride up several floors, look them in the eye and offer a greeting.

Hello is easy to say. It's only one word.

It might lead into a conversation about the weather, the latest news about your city or town, or something about the environment (the noise next door due to construction, for example).
You'll never know where the elevator chit-chat might lead if you don't open your mouth in the first place. And who knows!

That stranger could become a new friend or a romantic interest.

If you have read other posts for this section you will know that I am married and not seeking any other interests.

I have stated a couple of times in this section on Happy Relationships that we never know what another person is going through. That person in front of you at the grocery store or behind you in the grocery store could also be affected by this heroin epidemic here.

Some are stuck in the stigma that society has placed on the families of those suffering from addiction and I know how lonely of a place that can be. We lived there for eleven years- afraid to talk about it openly.

BTW November 21st is, World Hello Day!!!

Just for Today: In case no one told you today, Hello

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #42 If You're Single, Flirt With Someone

Today is Day #42 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about flirting with someone you are interested in, if you are single.

The exercise of flirting with a stranger would be for someone who is single but often in today's world that isn't necessarily the case. This

Challenge Myself: Day #41 Sparking A Conversation

Today is Day #41 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about starting a conversation with a total stranger. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that we are looking for love, or flirting either. Have you ever asked a stranger for the time?

Some people have a knack for engaging a stranger in conversation. Everyone we meet has a story of their own. No one knows what

Challenge Myself: Day #40 Dating Again

Today is Day #40 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about dating.

This exercise/challenge is for the single folks out there.

The book says,

If you feel lonely, do something about it. Visit a few online daiting sites; read about their audiences demographics and the criteria for joining.

Decide on two or three sites that might be a good fit for the type of potential friend or romatic partner you desire. Join one.

While dating is still about meeting new people, contemporary dating sites make it easier than ever. You can tell the world exactly what you want: for example, an emotionally healthy individual, a baby boomer who loves classic rock n roll, or someone who love to pair great cooking with fine wine.
So banish those lonesome blues, start tapping those keys to connect with others, and make way for some great camaraderie.

With the world at your fingertips, what are you waiting for?


JUST FOR TODAY:  Spending quality time with the hubby.

From the book: Live Happy

Challenge Myself: Day #39 The Laws of Attraction

Today is Day #39 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is the first of several posts on Building Happy Relationships.  Some of these posts are for those who are single while others are for those of us who are married. Today's

Building A Happy Relationship

The next section of Challenges is about building Attracting and Building Happy Relationships.

The challenges are from the book: Live Happy

pic found @ Pinterest