Here is my list of wishes for the coming year. When I read a comment from someone on a page that said the families of the addicts should be arrested there is still a lot of work to do in this community. These are some thoughts and ideas from areas like NYC and NJ where they are bigger communities dealing with the same
Absolutely
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Top 10 Blog Reads of 2016
Here is a listing of the Top 10 most read blog reads for 2016. Readers really responded to the Guest Posts. I want to do more of these in 2017. If you have a story to tell, email me and I'll fit your story in.
Readers also really responded to the human nature stories about
Readers also really responded to the human nature stories about
New Years Blogging and Resolutions
 |
Congratulations on
your Recovery
|
HOPE, healing, recovery, community, new friends.
Boy, what a year 2016 was. I have so much to be thankful for in 2016. The new friends we met. Our sons new life in recovery.
2016 started out with our son relapsed in his addiction to heroin and opiates. As the months clicked by his addiction reaching some times of unknown filled with stress and
Challenge Myself: Day #149 Plan Ahead For Delays
Today is Day #149 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says to find opportunities arising from a travel delay.
No one likes to hear about a delay in their travel plans. It happens so have a plan.
The book says,
When your train doesn't arrive on time or your flight is delayed, see opportunities. Get out your laptop or notepad and make a list of positive things that could come about because of the delay.
Think of the delay as a blessing that gives you extra time to use in myriad ways. You could:
*Make some phone call
*Catch up on paperwork
*Study a map
*Network with others
*Brainstorm some new ideas
*Write some postcards, emails or even outline a book
From the book: Live Happy
No one likes to hear about a delay in their travel plans. It happens so have a plan.
The book says,
When your train doesn't arrive on time or your flight is delayed, see opportunities. Get out your laptop or notepad and make a list of positive things that could come about because of the delay.
Think of the delay as a blessing that gives you extra time to use in myriad ways. You could:
*Make some phone call
*Catch up on paperwork
*Study a map
*Network with others
*Brainstorm some new ideas
*Write some postcards, emails or even outline a book
I know when I was watching the news it never fails especially this time of year- delays. Airlines have delays due to inclement weather and those traveling call the media as if the media will get them to their destination in an ice storm that was on the weatherman's radar for a week.
Even traveling by car there are often delays. Construction, an accident, a detour can set you behind if you have to reach your destination by a certain time. Plan ahead for these. Don't forget if it's going to be too long call the hotel/motel where you booked reservation and let them know of your delay also.
Just For Today: The next time we plan an outing, I will use this idea to plan ahead for any delays.
Even traveling by car there are often delays. Construction, an accident, a detour can set you behind if you have to reach your destination by a certain time. Plan ahead for these. Don't forget if it's going to be too long call the hotel/motel where you booked reservation and let them know of your delay also.
Just For Today: The next time we plan an outing, I will use this idea to plan ahead for any delays.
From the book: Live Happy
Friday, December 30, 2016
101 Stress Relievers
We have finished the section of Live Happy Challenges on Finding Moments of Happiness in Crisis. I wanted to share these
We Need To Stop Making Excuses
As parents we get caught up in a world of addiction that none of us really fully understand.
Believe me. I know. As a parent it is hard to understand and it's hard to stop making excuses for our loved ones behavior.
Stop denying the mistakes that our kids make. They are called mistakes for a reason. As hard as it is as a parent we have to allow our kids to make them. Sometimes their mistakes lead to making bad choices.
The mess left will be their mess to clean up in the end. So be it. That is a life lesson.
How will they learn lessons? How will they grow from the mistakes they have made?
And YES, this also means even if they are using and abusing heroin or other drugs. Even if they have fallen into that bottomless pit.
We as parents have to allow them to hit that bottom. We have to allow them that fall. I know that is hard. They will never find their bottom as long as we parents are giving them the means to stay in their addiction.
Our kids will never be able to explain it nor why they ever tried heroin so we have to stop pressing them for that answer. Our kids will never be able to explain why they repeated mistakes even when they knew the hole they were digging was too big for them to ever climb out of.
They can never explain it, BUT we have to allow them to STOP making excuses. We as parents have to stop making excuses for their addictive behaviors. It starts with stopping the enabling. We cannot ever expect them to reach their bottom when we are throwing them the rope. We have to allow them to own it.
We have to allow that no one ever forced them to do anything they didn't want to do. Yes they were no doubt influenced. Yes they were probably manipulated into it, but in the end our kids said, YES!
Rather than making excuses for them, not blaming everyone including yourself, there comes a time that we have to make them (or allow them)... own it! We as parents have to show them that they are being held accountable.
They don't have to explain it, but they do have to learn from it!
Now, you might wonder why this is so important?
Holding our sons, daughters or loved one accountable is forcing them from the victim mentality of the disease and will allow them the challenge gaining victor mentality over their addiction.
It will put them back in control of their life.
Those in recovery should rise up to the challenge and be empowered. Know you are worth it! Being a victor in this disease will help them in their first steps of recovering from this disease.
We as the parents need to stop with the victim mentality and take control over our own lives. We as parents need to take on the victor mentality by realizing that our child can recover from this disease and be free of the disease of addiction. We have to allow this in order for recovery and healing for ourselves.
We as the parents are in control of your own lives but by realizing all of this we in fact are on the first step of healing ourselves.
© 2016 Gossip Girl
Today is the day that we have to stop making all the excuses.
Believe me. I know. As a parent it is hard to understand and it's hard to stop making excuses for our loved ones behavior.
As one parent to another it is time to stop the denial.
Stop denying the mistakes that our kids make. They are called mistakes for a reason. As hard as it is as a parent we have to allow our kids to make them. Sometimes their mistakes lead to making bad choices.
The mess left will be their mess to clean up in the end. So be it. That is a life lesson.
How will they learn lessons? How will they grow from the mistakes they have made?
And YES, this also means even if they are using and abusing heroin or other drugs. Even if they have fallen into that bottomless pit.
We as parents have to allow them to hit that bottom. We have to allow them that fall. I know that is hard. They will never find their bottom as long as we parents are giving them the means to stay in their addiction.
Our kids will never be able to explain it nor why they ever tried heroin so we have to stop pressing them for that answer. Our kids will never be able to explain why they repeated mistakes even when they knew the hole they were digging was too big for them to ever climb out of.
They can never explain it, BUT we have to allow them to STOP making excuses. We as parents have to stop making excuses for their addictive behaviors. It starts with stopping the enabling. We cannot ever expect them to reach their bottom when we are throwing them the rope. We have to allow them to own it.
We have to allow that no one ever forced them to do anything they didn't want to do. Yes they were no doubt influenced. Yes they were probably manipulated into it, but in the end our kids said, YES!
Rather than making excuses for them, not blaming everyone including yourself, there comes a time that we have to make them (or allow them)... own it! We as parents have to show them that they are being held accountable.
They don't have to explain it, but they do have to learn from it!
Now, you might wonder why this is so important?
Holding our sons, daughters or loved one accountable is forcing them from the victim mentality of the disease and will allow them the challenge gaining victor mentality over their addiction.
It will put them back in control of their life.
Those in recovery should rise up to the challenge and be empowered. Know you are worth it! Being a victor in this disease will help them in their first steps of recovering from this disease.
We as the parents need to stop with the victim mentality and take control over our own lives. We as parents need to take on the victor mentality by realizing that our child can recover from this disease and be free of the disease of addiction. We have to allow this in order for recovery and healing for ourselves.
We as the parents are in control of your own lives but by realizing all of this we in fact are on the first step of healing ourselves.
Challenge Myself: Day #148 Take Your Own Pillow
Today is Day #148 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says when traveling take a long your favorite pillow.
The book says,
Hedge your bet that you will get a good nights sleep before traveling. Remember to take along your favorite little travel pillow. It stuffs easy into a carry-on bag and can serve as a terrific insurance policy against sleepless nights.
Traveling can sap your energy by various means, including jet lag. One of the best ways to beat jet lag is to get plenty of rest.
When traveling on a business trip or a family vacation, the choice of pillow in your hotel room or in your sleeping room of a ship, a ferry or airplane may not be yours, but you can always pull out your favorite travel pillow and know that blissful sleep is only moments away.
Just For Today: Even something simple like a pillow can bring peaceful rest and sleep.
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
Hedge your bet that you will get a good nights sleep before traveling. Remember to take along your favorite little travel pillow. It stuffs easy into a carry-on bag and can serve as a terrific insurance policy against sleepless nights.
Traveling can sap your energy by various means, including jet lag. One of the best ways to beat jet lag is to get plenty of rest.
When traveling on a business trip or a family vacation, the choice of pillow in your hotel room or in your sleeping room of a ship, a ferry or airplane may not be yours, but you can always pull out your favorite travel pillow and know that blissful sleep is only moments away.
Just For Today: Even something simple like a pillow can bring peaceful rest and sleep.
From the book: Live Happy
Be Happy On The Road
The next set of challenges is Be Happy On The Road and related to traveling. Most of them mention traveling abroad but it's okay. We can integrate them into traveling within the United States if we don't travel outside of the country. I want to travel more in 2017. Wait that should say I just want to take a vacation in 2017. We haven't had one of those for about eight or nine years. We are overdue for one.
We personally love seeing new places throughout our beautiful state of West Virginia. Much of her beauty is masked by this heroin and opioid epidemic however.
We have a list of all of the places we want to visit in the state. It's sort of a bucket list.
I peeked through the next set of challenges and they do share a lot of ideas for those who travel.
pic from dreamstime
Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Challenge Myself: Day #147 Write It Out
Today is Day #147 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says write about your loss and then rewrite it as a gain.
The book says,
When you suffer loss, take time to have a cup of tea and write about your loss. Then, consider what you might gain as you are compelled to move forward.
For example, after a spouse dies, gone too are the shared dreams, income, and perhaps even the house. Loss pushes you outside of your comfort zone where new opportunities for your new life await.
What if you always wanted a small farm in Connecticut? What's stopping you? What if you never finished college? What's holding you back now? You like marriage and want a new partner at some point. What if you could screen her or him to fit your desired profile? What if he or she is perfect for the next chapter of your life?
Dare to dream a bold new future!
Just For Today: I am writing and rewriting new chapters of my life!
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
When you suffer loss, take time to have a cup of tea and write about your loss. Then, consider what you might gain as you are compelled to move forward.
For example, after a spouse dies, gone too are the shared dreams, income, and perhaps even the house. Loss pushes you outside of your comfort zone where new opportunities for your new life await.
What if you always wanted a small farm in Connecticut? What's stopping you? What if you never finished college? What's holding you back now? You like marriage and want a new partner at some point. What if you could screen her or him to fit your desired profile? What if he or she is perfect for the next chapter of your life?
Dare to dream a bold new future!
Just For Today: I am writing and rewriting new chapters of my life!
From the book: Live Happy
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Challenge Myself: Day #146 Keep or Start A Journal
Today is Day #146 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says we should journal the details of the crisis outcome we desire and list the reasons why.
The book says,
What do you want as an outcome to the crisis? Why do you want that particular outcome and not another?
Write the answers to those two questions in your journal. Then use what you have written as points of departure for delving deeper. It is often difficult to get clarity when your brain is befuddled by an unexpected turn of events or bad news.
Journaling is one way to fully consider all of your options. Get all the ideas out of your brain and onto paper so that you can think about them and look at them.
Reorganize ideas. See what's missing. What you don't know. What you can investigate and learn more about. Use your journal as a powerful tool to help facilitate making the hard decisions and getting the best moral, ethical, and spiritual outcome.
Just For Today: I will practice this exercise of writing it out.
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
What do you want as an outcome to the crisis? Why do you want that particular outcome and not another?
Write the answers to those two questions in your journal. Then use what you have written as points of departure for delving deeper. It is often difficult to get clarity when your brain is befuddled by an unexpected turn of events or bad news.
Journaling is one way to fully consider all of your options. Get all the ideas out of your brain and onto paper so that you can think about them and look at them.
Reorganize ideas. See what's missing. What you don't know. What you can investigate and learn more about. Use your journal as a powerful tool to help facilitate making the hard decisions and getting the best moral, ethical, and spiritual outcome.
Just For Today: I will practice this exercise of writing it out.
From the book: Live Happy
Sunday, December 25, 2016
Challenge Myself: Day #145 Stop and Smell The Roses
Today is Day #145 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says that we should notice one thing each day that gives us pleasure.
The book says,
In spite of the negative circumstances you may be dealing with, find little moments throughout the day to notice the things that, under ordinary circumstances, give you pleasure.
For example, take time to appreciate the view of the neighbor's yellow roses that have just burst into bloom, the taste of a perfectly sweet apple, the sound of classical music as the CD plays on your laptop, the painting you bought in Paris that hangs in your office, the feel of your favorite loafers, or the warmth and smallness of your child's hand in yours.
Savor the gifts of sight, sense, taste, touch and smell. They are working even as you deal with crisis. Take comfort in simply noticing the blessing in the small things and short moments throughout the day.
Just for Today: I will take the time to STOP and smell the roses!
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
In spite of the negative circumstances you may be dealing with, find little moments throughout the day to notice the things that, under ordinary circumstances, give you pleasure.
For example, take time to appreciate the view of the neighbor's yellow roses that have just burst into bloom, the taste of a perfectly sweet apple, the sound of classical music as the CD plays on your laptop, the painting you bought in Paris that hangs in your office, the feel of your favorite loafers, or the warmth and smallness of your child's hand in yours.
Savor the gifts of sight, sense, taste, touch and smell. They are working even as you deal with crisis. Take comfort in simply noticing the blessing in the small things and short moments throughout the day.
Just for Today: I will take the time to STOP and smell the roses!
From the book: Live Happy
Friday, December 23, 2016
(Book) Chasing The Scream
It is now one hundred years since drugs were first banned in the United States. On the eve of this centenary, journalist Johann Hari set off on an epic three-year, thirty-thousand-mile journey into the war on drugs.What he found is that more and more people all over the world have begun to recognize three startling truths: Drugs are not what we think they are. Addiction is not what we think it is. And the drug war has very different motives to the ones we have seen on our TV screens for so long.
In Chasing the Scream, Hari reveals his discoveries entirely through the stories of people across the world whose lives have been transformed by this war.
They range from a transsexual crack dealer in Brooklyn searching for her mother, to a teenage hit-man in Mexico searching for a way out. It begins with Hari's discovery that at the birth of the drug war, Billie Holiday was stalked and killed by the man who launched this crusade--and it ends with the story of a brave doctor who has led his country to decriminalize every drug, from cannabis to crack, with remarkable results.
Chasing the Scream lays bare what we really have been chasing in our century of drug war--in our hunger for drugs, and in our attempt to destroy them. This book will challenge and change how you think about one of the most controversial--and consequential--questions of our time.
This book is available on Amazon for Kindle, in Hardcover and Paperback
You can also visit the author's website @ Chasing The Scream
What About Harm Reduction?
Currently we have a Recovery Resource Center and we will soon have a 16 bed Detox center, we have a couple of sober living houses all of which is a start in our community
BUT...
What about REAL Harm Reduction here?
Let's start that conversation can we?
First drug addiction and homelessness go together. Right
Let's Be Honest: The Do's and Don't of Dealing With an Active User
Let's be honest for a moment. Stop what you are doing, close your eyes, and think about your addict for a moment. Maybe you just found out that someone you love is using. If so, you are at the right place to find information. At the very top of this blog you will see a tab called, Treatment/ Recovery Assistance. Click on the link to
Challenge Myself: Day #144 Connect With Your Higher Power
Today is Day #144 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says to recite a favorite prayer while walking.
The book says,
Do you turn to God or your Higher Power when you are dealing with a crisis?
If you do, you are like many others who take comfort in knowing that they are not alone in dealing with their troubles or solving their problems.
Allocate part of a daily exercise for a devotional walk around the block. Whatever your spiritual belief, during that period, eyes and heart wide open, invite the Divine to be with you as you pray a favorite prayer or recite a favorite Psalm.
Praying can be done as holy conversation and sacred song as well.
The point is to realize that you are not alone in your crisis and to seek comfort, protection, peace and joy in your spiritual relationship with the Divine.
Just For Today: I will rely on my Higher Power for strength and serenity.
pic from: Simple Reminders
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
Do you turn to God or your Higher Power when you are dealing with a crisis?
If you do, you are like many others who take comfort in knowing that they are not alone in dealing with their troubles or solving their problems.
Allocate part of a daily exercise for a devotional walk around the block. Whatever your spiritual belief, during that period, eyes and heart wide open, invite the Divine to be with you as you pray a favorite prayer or recite a favorite Psalm.
Praying can be done as holy conversation and sacred song as well.
The point is to realize that you are not alone in your crisis and to seek comfort, protection, peace and joy in your spiritual relationship with the Divine.
Just For Today: I will rely on my Higher Power for strength and serenity.
pic from: Simple Reminders
From the book: Live Happy
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
(Book) Love Unbroken
Love Unbroken is the true story of Pamela, who spends ten years in hell struggling with drug addiction. As told by Pam and her mother Susan, the story reveals heroin addicts barely surviving in the slums of Washington D.C. and meth addicts roaming wild in the city parks of San Diego.Pam attends five treatment centers and suffers numerous relapses while her parents consult countless experts who disagree with each other. In Brazil they receive shamanic exorcisms and experience ayahuasca, a psychoactive rainforest tea considered sacred by indigenous Amazonians.
Both Pam and her mother emerge profoundly changed from these encounters. Their shared path to recovery is highly unusual, going far beyond conventional addiction treatment.
This is a book of hard-won inspiration and wisdom that reveals a truth deeper than all the traumas of the human heart — love unbroken.
Love Unbroken is available on Amazon for Kindle and in Paperback.
Challenge Myself: Day #143 Have A Glass of Wine
Today is Day #143 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says it's okay to have a glass of wine at the end of a difficult period.
The book says,
Unwind with a glass of your favorite wine at the end of an exhausting or difficult period. According to a number of research findings, wine is good for you if you drink it in moderation and as part of a healthy diet.
Wine has nonalcoholic phytochemicals (flavanoids and resveratrol) that prevent free radical molecules from damaging your body's cells. Studies show that wine reduces the risk of getting certain cancers and heart disease as well as slowing the progression of Alzheimers and Parkinson's disease.
For women, one five ounce glasss a day is good, but the health benefits are forfeited if you drink more.
For some a nice glass of non-alcoholic wine. Personally, I am a toddy person. I don't drink one every night but have occasionally had a hot nice toddy at the end of a day. I make a nice hot cup of tea, a shot of Grand Mariener and add lemon and honey.
Just For Today: I will give myself permission to relax with a nice glass of wine.
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
Unwind with a glass of your favorite wine at the end of an exhausting or difficult period. According to a number of research findings, wine is good for you if you drink it in moderation and as part of a healthy diet.
Wine has nonalcoholic phytochemicals (flavanoids and resveratrol) that prevent free radical molecules from damaging your body's cells. Studies show that wine reduces the risk of getting certain cancers and heart disease as well as slowing the progression of Alzheimers and Parkinson's disease.
For women, one five ounce glasss a day is good, but the health benefits are forfeited if you drink more.
For some a nice glass of non-alcoholic wine. Personally, I am a toddy person. I don't drink one every night but have occasionally had a hot nice toddy at the end of a day. I make a nice hot cup of tea, a shot of Grand Mariener and add lemon and honey.
Just For Today: I will give myself permission to relax with a nice glass of wine.
From the book: Live Happy
Monday, December 19, 2016
Challenge Myself: Day #142 Security and Comfort
Today is Day #142 of the Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today says snuggle with your favorite pillow or security blanket.
The book says,
If you are like many people, as a child you had a security blanket that got you through the night. As an adult facing crisis, you may wish you had something tangible like that to give you comfort.
If you don't have a favorite blanket or pillow, get yourself over to the linen closet and see if there's a comfy throw, a worn afghan, or a silky coverlet that you could use. Or got to the clearance table at your local department store and pick something out that could become a new favorite security blanket.
As a child, you loved your blankey because it was yours and only yours. If had your scent on it. You knew what it felt and looked like even with your eyes closed.
In times of crisis, seek comfort in what is familiar and makes you feel safe. Wrap yourself in your blanket and let your inner child feel safe again and comforted.
Just For Today: I will seek comfort, if it is only for a moment.
From the book: Live Happy
The book says,
If you are like many people, as a child you had a security blanket that got you through the night. As an adult facing crisis, you may wish you had something tangible like that to give you comfort.
If you don't have a favorite blanket or pillow, get yourself over to the linen closet and see if there's a comfy throw, a worn afghan, or a silky coverlet that you could use. Or got to the clearance table at your local department store and pick something out that could become a new favorite security blanket.
As a child, you loved your blankey because it was yours and only yours. If had your scent on it. You knew what it felt and looked like even with your eyes closed.
In times of crisis, seek comfort in what is familiar and makes you feel safe. Wrap yourself in your blanket and let your inner child feel safe again and comforted.
Just For Today: I will seek comfort, if it is only for a moment.
From the book: Live Happy
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