Friday, December 23, 2016

Let's Be Honest: The Do's and Don't of Dealing With an Active User

Let's be honest for a moment. Stop what you are doing, close your eyes, and think about your addict for a moment. Maybe you just found out that someone you love is using. If so, you are at the right place to find information. At the very top of this blog you will see a tab called, Treatment/ Recovery Assistance. Click on the link to
take you there. That page has information on treatment facilities and self-help tips to help you find the right program. I am sharing a list of things that I learned through the years in dealing with our addicted son.

I am listing some Do and Don't here to help

DO Take care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.
DO Trust your instincts and listen to your instincts. IF something doesn't sound right, seem right or feel right because, in the end, it was right.
DO Get out of any denial.
DO Come to Nar-Anon or a Family Support Group
DO Allow the addict to fall to their bottom.

DO Talk to your loved one. Tell your addict that you love them. Do tell them that you love the addict the person they are inside. DO Tell them that you hate the drugs, You hate what those drugs have done to your loved one.
DO Be ready to detach with love.
DO Educate yourself on your loved one's drug of choice.
DO Seek help from the outside.

DO Provide a very good self-help book for yourself and get one for the addict. I have provided information on a lot of good book suggestions to read. They are on my wish list.

DO Allow them to face any consequences that their addiction has caused, including jail time. Let them lose that job, get evicted, fall behind on bills. YES, in the end, they will have the mess to clean up. Allow them to learn that.

DON'T Confront the addict especially if they are still using.
DON'T Waste any more energy trying to figure out the addict or your parenting skills.
DON'T Ever lose HOPE that your loved one will heal from this addiction.
DON'T take your loved one's drug abuse and addiction personally.

STOP Lying for the addict.
STOP Enabling the addict.
STOP Giving them every dime you have, instead put those dimes aside to help with their recovery and treatment.

STOP Bailing the addict out of jail.
STOP Trying to control the addiction and your addict.
STOP Trying to fix the addict and the addiction.
STOP Blaming yourself for your loved one's addiction.
STOP Trying to find the addicts "rock bottom"
STOP Enabling their addiction. How can you expect them to find their rock bottom when you are financially supporting their addiction? OR Giving them the means to continue in their addiction.

STOP Believing the addicts lies.
STOP allowing the addict to manipulate you like that.
STOP Telling the addict if they loved you they wouldn't use drugs.
STOP With the care-taking of the addict and their addiction

START The conversation with your addict. The next time they ask you for money instead, give them a list of resources to find help for their addiction.

START Planning ahead of time for the day they reach out to you and want treatment.

REMEMBER: People DO recover from this disease.
REMEMBER: HELP is what you give someone who cannot do for themselves. ENABLING is providing for someone who can take care of themselves.

REMEMBER: You did not cause this, you cannot fix it and you will never control an active user.

© 2017 Gossip Girl

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