Challenge Myself: Day #56 Effective Listening

Today is Day #56 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about listening when others are speaking.

The book says,

The art of actively listening means to be totally engaged when someone is talking to you. When you truly make an effort to understand others, they appreciate it. Consequently, your relationships with them are strengthened.

Make sure you truly understand what your friend tells you by repeating his words back to him or her. 

You could start with, "I want to make sure I understand what you're telling me."

Express your understanding of what he or she is saying and if it isn't right, the person will correct you. Listen without judging. Be fully present. Pay attention.

Your relationships will be stronger and happier as a result of your effort.

Just For Today: I will listen.

From the book: Live Happy

Drug Free America?

We scream and yell how much street drugs should not be legal that we forget

They already are legal....

when prescribed by doctors being pushed by huge pharma companies!!!

pic from: Drugs Are Illegal. Talking About Them Isn't

Guest Blogging Spots

I am seeking the stories from those just like yourself to fill some guest blogging spots.

Has this heroin epidemic affected you personally?

Do you have an addiction story to tell?

Are you recovered? Would you like to share your story?

Have you lost someone you love to addiction?

Are you the parents of someone affected by heroin addiction?

Are you helping in the community? Helping those with addiction problems find recovery?

Are you making your voice known? Are you bringing more awareness to this growing epidemic?

Are you a group or organization hosting an event?

Has this heroin epidemic affected you personally? Do you have a story to tell?

I would love to put your story on my blog.

This requires nothing but telling your story. There are no set word limits. Email your story to me at:

j3llybeanz@gmail.com

Thank You

pic courtesy of Google Images

Challenge Myself: Day #55 Being Neighborly

Today is Day #55 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about being a good neighbor.

I don't really do the "neighbor thing". I wave and say hello but I don't visit the neighbors on a regular basis.

The book says,

Get to know your neighbors. When you meet a neighbor while out tending your flowers, picking up the paper, or walking the dog say hello to him or her.

Invite your neighbors over for coffee or strudel or cinnamon rolls. Get to know your neighbors. That means finding out what is important, what their hobbies are, what kind of work they do. Find out what mutual interests you share.

From the beginning, build friendships with your neighbors. Plan parties on your street for Christmas or Independence Day that involve all the neighbors and their children.

You'll be creating memories and cultivating relationships to last a lifetime.

I say hi to my neighbors when out that is about all I wish to know. I help a couple of my neighbors and I work with two of my neighbors. We take an elderly neighbor a plate when we have extra. We are private people and we wish to remain private people.

Just For Today: I will pray for my neighbors.

From the book: Live Happy

Blog Update For The Month

So today I thought I would give a blog update. Just in a month the numbers of readers who are reading or researching information here or those just finding this blog through the links have risen.

Still today the keyword used bringing readers is the word, Recovery. Recovery in Martinsburg, WV and Recovery in Berkeley County are also two other keywords typed into google that is bringing people to this blog.

Currently it is getting approximately twenty five subscribers.

The next section of the Live Happy Challenges are about Strong Happy Families. I am really excited about this section of exercises. I'm excited. Although my own children are grown with children of their own I hope they can find some useful information to use in their own experiences with raising their children.

I am trying to organize a bit better in the hopes of having some guest blogging.

I continue to search for the stories of those Gone, But Never Forget Them and to memorialize them so that we forever Speak Their Names.

I continue to seek stories from those in recovery as well as those who continue to recover and battle their addiction.

I've sent some requests out and hopefully soon can bring you these local stories.

I welcome all stories for guest blogging. If you wish to submit please email me at j3llybeanz@gmail.com.

Many thanks to those reading here.

Update: Learning Curves

Many times throughout all of these years of loving a child struggling with heroin addiction I have begged God in prayers, 'Why Us?' Hoping the answer would just fall from the sky.

A month ago when we took our son Kyle to Huntington, WV we learned that there is a possibility that he has cancer.

We tried hard to keep this from my parents but so many know it

(Poem) The Tree of Life

pic from QuoteKo

Loving An Addict Is Unconditional

Pic: Shared on Facebook

Challenge Myself: Day #54 Making Friends

Today is Day #54 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about being the type of friend you want to attract.

I lost several whom I thought were close friends during our sons battle with heroin addiction. However in losing friends I gained several more through speaking out about the problem here and through NarAnon.

The book says,

If you are seeking loyalty and trust in your friendships or the romantic friendship you hope to have, first cultivate those qualities within yourself and then demonstrate them to others. In so doing, you become a magnet for exactly what you want.

Similarly, if you seek a gentle, loving spirit for a life partner, avoid someone with a mercurial, and volatile, and temperamental nature.

Although opposites do sometimes attract, you'll most likely be the happiest with a kindred spirit.

The friends I've made- we show each other support even though we are fighting our own battles in this heroin epidemic. Thank you for standing by me when I am happy and when I am sad.
Just For Today: I am grateful for the friends I have.

From the book: Live Happy

(SONG) The Maker

Oh, oh, deep water

Black and cold like the night

I stand with arms wide open

I've run a twisted line

I'm a stranger in the eyes of the Maker

I could not see

For the fog in my eyes

I could not feel

For the fear in my life

And from across the great divide

In the distance I saw a light

Of John Baptist

Walking to me with the Maker

My body, my body is bent

And broken by long and dangerous sleep

I can't work the fields of Abraham

And turn my head away

I'm not a stranger in the hands of the Maker

Brother John, have you seen

The homeless daughters

Standing here with broken wings

I have seen the flaming swords

There over East of Eden

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Burning in the eyes of the Maker

Oh, river rise from your sleep

YouTube Video
Song Lyrics By: Song Lyrics

Challenge Myself: Day #53 Saying No

Today is Day #53 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about saying the word no when you don't want to do something.

Saying No! Oh my gosh this exercise today is so for me!

I personally have a problem saying no. I hate it because I want to say no a lot but I'm afraid of hurting others feelings if I do. I am afraid of letting others down if I say no. Years ago the problem with saying no is why I worked so many hours.

The book says,

Sometimes the answer is a simple no, especially when you are trying to hold firm a boundary that someone is trying to push across.

If you have a hard time saying no, try this exercise. Stand in front of a mirror and practice saying,

"No, it's not possible. It's just not possible," then turn and walk away.

Think of how wonderful you will feel to be empowered to say yes and no when it suits you. You never again have to give in when you know you don't want to or it is not a good idea.

Practice until saying no is as easy as saying yes.

And that is a powerful tool in your game-of-life chest.

How many others are just like me and have a problem saying no?

Just For Today: I will say No.

From the book: Live Happy

What Is WV Conditional Discharge?

Some of you may be wondering just what is conditional discharge?

I know I am as I have never heard of it before.

Another question I have about it is, if West Virginia has conditional discharge why is there no other plan in place? For instance for treatment right here in Martinsburg and Berkeley County?

What about counselling? There is no suggestion that someone seek counselling for addiction problems and behaviors.

Read the law: §60A-4-407. Conditional discharge for first offense of possession

Above The Law: Conditional Discharge Law

The past few days Facebook has been filled with stories, posts and memes about the Republican Nominee for Sheriff, John Orem who has been charged with possession of heroin.

In reading a story written by Jafari Tishomingo from Counter Current News I am left with nothing but questions now. The story points out possibly a not known fact of the law as I for one knew nothing about this law West Virginia Code 60A-4-407 and I wonder about others.

The story from Counter Current News states:

"In West Virginia they have a “Conditional Discharge” Law, a Conditional discharge works by ordering the accused to a period of probation before trial date. The court proceedings are deferred during this period. If you complete the probation, the charges against you will be dismissed. Six months later, you can move to have all records expunged

Oren can receive no jail time and has the ability for everything to just disappear.

One question we have to ask ourselves is if this “Conditional Discharge” law is afforded to everyone or is it at the discretion of the presiding judge?

Were other West Virginian Heroin addicts afforded the same kind of leniency? Or is this another case of the state looking out for their own?"

I agree because I have a real problem when people are above the law of everyone else in this town. Will this case like others play out as to those who are above the law? Why exactly haven't others been afforded this leniency of the law?

 West Virginia Code 60A-4-407

West Virginia Code 60A-4-407

Today I Am Grateful For the Clouds

Each day we have reminders of this heroin epidemic of just how ugly heroin is. Just how ugly this addiction can be as it destroys lives.

Ugly as in hearing overdoses happening around us.

Ugly as in hearing yet another life is lost to overdose, addiction and heroin. In this I can find beauty if only in my backyard.

I never have to go far to find it.

Today it is the beauty of a hummingbird moth visiting my butterfly bush.

Today I am grateful for the clouds in the sky.

Clouds don't make a sound as they pass us by.

They remind us that at times some rain must fall.

They do remind us that the sun will shine again.

They remind us when they all come together- clouds, the rain and sunshine- that a rainbow will form.

At the end of the rainbow is a promise of a pot of gold!

© 2016 Gossip Girl

Update: I am Addicted To The Addict

We are twelve years into our sons heroin addiction. We've used words like addict, addiction for a very long time.

I just recently realized that I am addicted to our addict. I concentrate all my energy and focus all my attention on words like controlling the addict and fixing the addict. Seeking everyday ways to

Statement Released From BC Sheriff Candidate

This is the statement released by candidate for Berkeley County Sheriff, John Orem regarding his recent arrest for possession of heroin:

His statement From the Facebook Page of John Orem for Berkeley County Sheriff:

Challenge Myself: Day #52 Something Simple Counts

Today is Day #52 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today reminded me that just the little things count even if it is breakfast in bed.

The book says,

End The Stigma Stop The Shame

Stop the shame of addiction....

Pain

Cravings

Guilt

Shame

The Toxic Mix of Shame and Addiction

Challenge Myself: Day #51 Couple Talk

Today is Day #51 of our Nar Anon Group Just For Today Challenge. I am also integrating the Live Happy into my Challenge. The Live Happy Challenge for today is about "the talk".

The book says,

The Family Rules For Happiness

There are just a few more exercises in the section of Building Happy Relationships in the book, Live Happy. The next section of exercises in the Live Happy Challenge is about Building a Strong Happy Family. I am excited about the next section of challenges.

Heroin and this addiction has torn many families to pieces so I am excited about the section on Building Strong Happy Family.

pic from: Happiness Quotes