On July 10, 2016 we set out from Martinsburg to Huntington, WV with our son to a recovery house. Five and a half hours to get there. A ten hour round trip.
We were happy he made the choice to go yet scared of all of the unknown and what if's. I have thought about when that day would come thousands of times. I imagined a celebration inside that I could express this joy to the world. Instead it was the total opposite.
It was just too soon. We were so afraid to talk too much about it or celebrate any milestones because of fear we would jinx it yet we did it anyway. Last Sunday at NarAnon we celebrated what seemed like a new beginning for our son- truly a newness of life was shaping up. Or so it seemed.
This week we do not know what happened. We know the first weeks and first months are full of the ups and downs- mentally while someone is in treatment and recovery. He was having some problems there from the beginning. The demons of addiction he speaks about inside his head are real to him.
We didn't expect anyone to babysit him there. We only wanted him to get better. We surrounded him with positivity.
His second day there he experienced some problems that he called the demons in his head. We thought he had worked through those. He seemed so much better as the week went on.
Sunday July 17th He went to church. He was baptized. We back here were so excited. It seemed he was making real progress. When we talked to him that evening he seemed really excited that he'd be going the next day to look for a job.
I didn't say to him but I fretted about this. Was it too early?
That evening I talked to him and could tell from his voice. I asked him what was wrong and he said he lost everything that even mattered to him. He had been talking to his ex girlfriend and although it was too early to even talk about anything dealing with the relationship I guess things were said. We don't know. That too is a he said/she said. We tried our best talking to him in positive conversation. Reminding him he is there to heal and should focus on himself.
I don't know I had a bad feeling after getting off the phone that evening.
In the early hours of July 19th we do not know what happened there. He once again left the house and we have no clue what happened. He says one thing; the recovery house another so we don't know.
He wanted to go for help. He is down there. He knows the process. The rest is up to him.
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