and could get someone you love killed.
I know it's going to sound horrible for a parent to say but I'd rather get the call that he's locked up in jail then the call from the undertaker. The call that no parent wants to ever get.
We have a little family rule passed down the generations: You Do The Crime- You Do The Time. My son believes I am the worst parent because I did not run to bail him out. Why should I? I didn't put him there.
Oh in the beginning of it all they'll be picked up and some sucker will PR them. Then that is when the real bullshit starts. Then of course they come here to my home looking for him. Hello... he's not here... he hasn't lived here for 12 years. I wasn't the stupid one that trusted him to come back to court.
Then of course the times when the bail bondsman shows up with a gun threatening to put a hole in my sons head. WTH!!!! Why you gonna execute my son for a $200 bond revocation? Seriously?
Here is what I don't understand... how can a kid who hasn't lived in your home for twelve years use your address without your permission?
When I go every few years to renew my drivers license I damned near need to take the mailman and post master general as my witness that he delivers mail to my house- but a child who hasn't lived in your home for 12 years can use your address? WTF!!!
And just for shits and giggles... NONE OF MY KIDS HAVE OUR PERMISSION TO USE OUR ADDRESS!!!
Now of course this cycle repeats a few times... crimes, arrest, out on bail... until the day comes that they set and wait on their hearing and sentencing.
This used to be when they detox. Now of course they can get their drugs right inside the jail. So now there is no telling whether or not your loved one when released is actually clean and detoxed.
But let us assume they are clean and detoxed.
Don't assume the jail just released them with all the steps needed to get their lives back. They hand them their little envelope of belongings and say, "We'll see ya again soon!!!"
And that is what normally happens. They are out. They have no clue the steps needed. They cannot find jobs because hello now they are felons.
If your loved one has just been released remember these:
The jail is not a treatment center.
Your loved one may be detoxed, but they aren't totally out of the woods yet.
They need to be going in the right direction, but what is that direction?
Things for instance like the Day Reporting Center
They need to be attending all the NA Meetings they can get to
Sometimes just this isn't enough. Your loved one might still need inpatient or outpatient treatment.
Outpatient treatment here in Martinsburg- We even have The Martinsburg Institute. Now I ask you why isn't it enough? Why are we still in a heroin epidemic here? If those places are enough then why is it we are still here? Nothing has changed?
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