Monday, May 16, 2016

Things I Learned From An Addict: Masters at Lying and Manipulating

The last post I spoke about enabling. This post sort of goes along with that one and a little more.

Today is about lying and manipulating and well using, lying and manipulating combined turned our son into a monster when he became an extortionist. He knew exactly what buttons to push with
me, and he did- he pushed them all. I allowed it.

Remember- they are great at lying and pushing our buttons:

Asking for $20$40 $60 a day. They will tell you what you want to hear. I need it for gas. I need it to look for a job. I have a job interview and need gas to get there. I need cigarettes. I need, I need .... and the list of the believable goes on.

This is believable because in our minds I believe we think, wow they do want to change.

They however just need the money to get another fix.

Of course, it makes you look foolish in the end and pissed because they deceived you. And then to have them turn that around on me makes me want to choke someone scream!!!

When we had no more money to give because we had given it all up to a son to shoot it up he then went onto another scheme and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.

He was stealing and when one of his dad's expensive tools came up missing we threatened to call the cops. My son told me...

"Go ahead call the cops because you're in as much trouble as I am."

Really, how do you figure that one? I'm not using drugs. He told me,

"Well, who gave me the money to go buy it. You're my co-dependent and when I tell them you'll be arrested too. You are just as guilty because you have been funding me. Wait until I call the cops. Mommy, I thought you were smart. You are just so stupid."

Now all that seems pretty funny huh? It isn't when you're on my side of the table as the enabler. I believed it. I remembered what my mother told me about when you're helping someone break the law- you're just as guilty.

Of course, now I know differently. Back then I thought I was in trouble. Several months went by and we just had no more to give to him.
His dad had given him an old pickup "to look for a job" he said. We have no clue whatever happened to that truck.
We had an old SUV that he said a friend wanted to buy. We let them take it, "he'll bring you the money on Friday" We haven't seen it since, nor the money.
When my car broke down after the mechanic said it was the motor my car was setting in the driveway when I went to work. When I got home it was gone. We have no clue where it went.

Trust me, they can drag you into the pits of hell right along with them in their addiction. I know I've been there.

That was then. We forgave all of that.

He relapsed about what we know now about two years ago. The reason we didn't really know is that one of our other kids was coming to ask for the money. I work a cleaning job two days a week. Two years ago I was turning my entire paycheck weekly over to that child, and it was being used for drugs.

After the stint with drug abuse, I have not been able to save any money. I've been laid off since January from my main job so there is no money left.

No longer will I fall for the tricks.

He broke into my parent's enclosed porch. From what I've heard and a video I saw he is also breaking into to things- a home. We are waiting because we know from the past that it's only a matter of time until he is breaking into our house again.

Part IV: Hide Everything In Your House of Value

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