The Chronicles of Loving A Heroin Addict: Restoring The Sanity Back Into Our Lives

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Restoring The Sanity Back Into Our Lives

Well, I can say I am finally there. Step Two of Nar Anon is:

Believing that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Yes I admit it. I love an addict and surrounded my entire life with the emotions associated with the addict in our life. Anger, hurt, resentments and grudge- just to name a few. Loving our addict has occupied a significant amount of time, energy and YES thought. The thoughts are based entirely on the addict I love and on fixing him.

If I could just fix him that means I can change him, right?

Soon all of this manifested into a total obsession around our
addict. This obsession hasn't allowed time for anything else. In admitting we were powerless it opened the window of time to fill that void. We are as addicted to our addict as he is to heroin. Just how in the world did things get this messed up?

That realization is that loving our addict we have accepted that we were less sane because of the insanity addiction and our own personal addict we love and all that it has created in our lives.

All of the focus has been on, What If we did this or that? This has now become a normal routine in our lives. We didn't realize that we have focused that much time, attention and energy. Now we are drained. All that I am aware of now is the negative energy and the oppression around my life and our home.

The insanity and challenges of doing the same thing over and over again repetitively and expecting something different to change have left me with what I call, carpal tunnel of the brain. I do believe in a Higher Power but the focus on our addict caused so many questions, like Why Us? Why Are We Having To Go Through This? We were all created for a purpose what purpose is there in addiction?

After eleven years of dealing with heroin abuse and this crazy ride on the Addiction Tilt-A-Wheel ride in some amusement park, I didn't want to be at in the first place somewhere along the way I lost belief of returning any sanity to our lives.

There was no way ever that I was going to accept our son's addiction as some, Que' Sera Sera. Whatever will be, will be. But then I had to realize the rest of the words to that song says, The future's not ours to see.

There it was right there in front of me the whole time.

I didn't realize that in asking so many questions and being faced with all of the doubts and uncertainties of this addiction that I have lost some faith along the way. Faith that our addict can recover from this hold heroin has on his life right now.

In this release, I have had to realize that spirituality comes to us in many forms. In accepting that there is a Higher Power that can restore our sanity I have had to keep an open mind. Along with the Nar-Anon Promise, We will not regret the past, nor wish to shut the door on it.

In these eleven years, I have held tightly onto anger, hurt, resentment and grudge. This was my retreat whenever I felt threatened to let go. That too is another step I will need to cross in time.

This week I've been doing Nar-Anon Challenges with our group leaders, Tina and Lisa and didn't realize that the answer was right in front of me the whole time.

I have released the powers of anger, hurt, resentment and grudge. In doing this I had to change my prayers. Instead of praying for a change to come to the addict we love, I prayed for a change in my own life.

I cannot control yesterday. It is just a memory now. I cannot control tomorrow because tomorrow isn't even promised to me. I can only control today. I will make the best of everything I do today even if it is just for right now.

And as the saying goes...

Now that I am pushed to the edge I have to trust Him. Only two things can happen now. Either He will catch me when I fall, or He will teach me how to fly!

Heavenly Father,
I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity. I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and addictive behavior from me this day.

Heal my spirit & restore in me a clear mind. I pray for an open mind so I may come to believe in a Power greater than myself. I pray for humility & the continued opportunity to increase my faith and allow me just one day at a time.

The Insanity of Loving A Heroin Addict
© 2016 Gossip Girl

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What Are Our Issues In Berkeley County/Martinsburg WV? We have no clear solutions!!!!

Besides this heroin epidemic?
We really have no clear solutions to the problem or so it seems on this side of the addiction...

1- The high numbers of Overdose and Preventable Death Our numbers of OD's and OD causing death continue to rise.
Drug use and the disorders that go along with it are still going untreated.

Our town officials and the local media need to stop using the catch phrase, "Dispelling Rumors" when referring to this heroin epidemic here! What rumors? There is no place for the word rumors in the discussion about this heroin epidemic. The numbers we have is data and statistics!!!!

2-We have No Drug Treatment Here We need treatment on demand. When someone is suffering a heart attack or a stroke they go to the hospital. That person will get triaged in the ER, tests are run, they will go to the ICU for further medical care. They are under constant medical supervision 24/7 and will get the best of all medical care. When someone is suffering from heroin addiction and they go to the hospital they get Narcan, often laughed at and put down, called a junkie and later released back to the streets where the cycle of drug abuse continues. When a person is suffering from a heroin addiction they shouldn't have to say they are suicidal and going to kill themselves to get access to a treatment facility. It should be available to them when they need it!

Something is clearly wrong with that!

3-We continue Criminalizing Those Who Are Addicted
We have a judicial system in this country that continues handcuffs instead of help! The intent is that the spiraling addict will "get it together" without any treatment induces harm, it cost money, causes recidivism and is no way solving the real problem.

4-We have No Harm Reduction- No Needle Exchange

5-No Community Awareness but plenty of NIMBY: Not In My Backyard
Mentality

6. Drugged Driving: Drug Driving Is Becoming A Huge Problem in all of WV. The numbers are only increasing. Driving while intoxicated (Alcohol) used to be the biggest problem on the roadways. Now you don't know who may be on the roads under the influence of powerful drugs like heroin.

7. Not only does the "Heroin Highway" go through this town but, Martinsburg's (WV) new nickname is Little Baltimore

8. This epidemic affects everyone. We need more Awareness here. Community Awareness, Youth Awareness and Parent Awareness. We must make people face the reality that the prejudice and injustice in literally killing people and that is data proven!

9. STOP The Stigma relating to heroin abuse. If we had Community Awareness we wouldn't have the stigma here.

10. We need to end the discriminatory practice and policies that often discriminate people with substance abuse problems and those who abuse with a criminal record excluding them from finding suitable jobs, their rights and opportunities. Many of these policies even those who have recovered.

11. We need a Strategic Public Health Awareness Campaign here.

12. More Awareness Is Needed to the problem which involves everyone on the same page, at the same table and in the same room to come up with solutions.

13. We need more youth awareness in our community.

14. More Parental Awareness Needed

15. We need to STOP the silence about this heroin epidemic here. We need to SPEAK the truth about heroin and this epidemic and we need to START the conversation!

It Will Take The Entire Village

If you are not part of the solution, then you are the problem.

In the beginning of all of this- the heroin, the epidemic- many years ago they said cigarettes was non addictive. Then in the late 80's came OxyContin. We were told that too was non addictive. Now weed is being marketed as, non addictive. Haven't we learned yet that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? When will we ever learn?

Some Positive Initiatives Happening in our Community..

The Recovery Resource Center opened. It's located at 400 W. Stephen St in Martinsburg. Kevin Knowles is the Recovery Services Coordinator.

The #wvdayofhope

On Dec. 6, 2016 Martinsburg City Zoning Approved the Detox Center which will be located on Wilson St. in Martinsburg.

Important Upcoming Events

Mark You Calendars:

If your group has an event coming up, please let me know!

Update on Narcan Classes:

Classes will not be held every Friday now. They will now be held the first Friday of the month (starting May 6th) at the Martinsburg health department at 3:00. Whoever wants to attend needs to call the health department and sign up.

The third Friday of the month (starting May 20th) there will be on at 6:00 at Callahan Counseling Services 1020 Winchester Ave. There is no need to sign up for this one.

Callahan Counseling is located at 1020 Winchester Ave in Martinsburg, WV. This class starts at 6 PM. Visit Narcan Training of the Eastern Panhandle for more information

If interested in taking the Narcan Classes please sign up. Lately there has not been a lot of attendance. If this continues it is likely the local classes will stop.

Every Sunday Evening Nar-Anon meeting @ 6PM The group meets at Trinity UM Church on Martin St. in Martinsburg

Find a NA or Recovery Meeting Here in Martinsburg